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30.06.11

Bored Mermaids Wreak Havoc On South Coast

Posted in Pagan News at 6:18 pm

It was revealed today that the strange tidal phenomena experienced along the South Coast of England yesterday were caused by mermaids. There was much confusion and alarm as people reported rivers flowing backwards, a mini tsunami and varying sea levesl stretching from Penzance to Portsmouth. Scientists tried to dismiss this with explanations of an undersea landslide in an effort to quell any panic but the Burning Times has received exclusive information which reveals that this was in fact due to a group of bored mermaids.

Well known Cornish mermaid and shop owner Nymphadora Oddfish confided that she had been informed (by a reliable source) that the antics of a few bored mermaids had caused the problems experiened along the South Coast. “People don’t realise” she stated “just how powerful mermaids can be and they can become particularly mischievious when they have nothing to do, though even I must admit they have excelled themselves this time”. Ms. Oddfish was asked why the mermaids were bored and replied “Well with so many people glued to their TV’s watching Wimbledon, there are less folk about for the mermaids to tease and torment. Hopefully once the tennis is finished things should return to normal”. In a final comment Ms Oddfish advised everyone to be on their guards next year when the Olympics are in full swing, as the mermaids may well be tempted to cause further mayhem.

 

Reporter: Ms. Mirkwood

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1 Comment »

  1. moonchild said,

    31.10.12 at 8:11 am

    Merry Meet all.in response to mermaid article in burning times it has been
    reported recently silkies have been sighted in the rivers Humber and Ouse.apparently they have swam across the English channel to find warmer
    climes where they will go into hibernation untill spring. when their mating season begins.then when hundreds of baby silkies are born they will return
    to Ireland their home land and bring loads of luck to anyone who is lucky
    enough to sight them. It is said that as they are Irish they only bring luck to
    the Irish.It is said this is where the saying ( The Luck Of The Irish Comes From}

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