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25.05.11

One part of Obama’s entourage who won’t be appearing in any official photos

Posted in Pagan News at 1:31 pm

In any presidential official visit, a hefty entourage of supporting staff is inevitable. The bodyguards, hairdresser, the drivers, the valets, advisors and so on. But one member of the entourage is never mentioned in public and is a shadowy, but critical presence: that of the official White House Wizard.

It was natural, one supposes, that when deciding on a code-name for this important staff member, that the FBI would choose “Merlin”, and indeed the similarities between the mythological “Arthur” and Obama have not gone unreported. Insiders report that Merlin (nobody knows his real name) was the one who gave Obama his “Yes we can!” mantra as a variation on “So Mote it Be” which, of course, it would be impossible for any non-magickal person to use. Merlin is quietly credited as being one of Patrick Stewart’s advisors who suggested he use “Make it so” for his character Jean Luc Picard’s catchphrase.

But what is Merlin’s function? Nobody is quite sure, though things seem to run more smoothly for the Obamas when he’s on duty. The recent problems the Obama administration had with the Healthcare Reform bill are attributed to the fact that Merlin was on an extended excursion to Wooky Hole Caves. Merlin is also credited with ensuring Michelle Obama has a good hair day, something which is vital to ensure the smooth running of the White House.

While Merlin’s presence is likely to go unregarded by the Muggle media, it is unlikely to be missed by the Government who have their own Grand High Wizard of the Red Dressing Gown in charge of government policy. It is envisaged that both Wizards will have much to discuss once they have completed the traditional wand-waving-I-was-trained-by-Gerald/Alex-my-coven’s-older-than-yours contest. No doubt matters of grave national interest, like amendments to the Organic Incense Act 2003, and the Permissible Familiars Act 1564 will be under discussion. Burning Times will of course be following these discussions and will report back in the event that there is any agreement reached.  (No liability can be held for those who hold their breaths waiting on any agreements being reached and therefore die as a result).

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22.05.11

Latest press release from the centre for homeopathic sciences

Posted in Pagan News at 12:08 pm

The following press release was received from the centre for homeopathic sciences and is reproduced here in full for your enjoyment.
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