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18.02.07

Windfarm threat to night-flying witches

Posted in Pagan News at 10:28 pm

As more windfarms are spread across our landscape the threat that they pose to night flying witches is becoming apparent. Often situated on bleak moorlands they lie directly across many traditional routes favoured by witches.

Nearly all turbines have three blades and typically rotate at 17 rotations per minute, giving a gap of approximately 1.2 seconds between the blades. A standard witch’s broom 2.5 metres in length would require to be travelling at a speed of at least 30km per hour (18.5 mph) to have any chance of escaping unscathed.

Grandmother of 23 and mother of 8, Miss Morrigan Malachite said, “I was flying over the moor under an empty moon on a route I haven’t used for a couple of years when out of nowhere, Wham! I was clobbered by this ruddy great thing whistling round and round. No sooner had I recovered that I was hit by another one. Poor old TalaMaleki, my familiar, lost two of his nine lives in one night!”

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09.02.07

School bans everything

Posted in Pagan News at 12:29 pm

Pupils at an un-named London School turned up for classes today to find everything had been banned. “Political correctness hasnt only gone mad, its gone completely insane”, one mother said to a reporter.
Another parent who supported the move said “It’s about time, the children could be hurt, or upset or worse while doing something, it’s about time somebody thought of the children, they need to be protected from stuff”
The school head declined to comment saying he was banned from doing so.

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