11.10.08
First Pagan Space Programme Announced
The Independent Republic of Pagans (IRP), first founded in 1999 at the Hob Goblin in Reading, profess an independent state within Great Britain comprising of 52 square feet and an out-house. Today they announced their intentions to go into space later this year.
Their Lord and Leader, Red-Bearded Mahone, came to the door of the Presidential Palace at 478b Oxford Road to make the announcement public this morning.
Dressed in his red flannel robes of state he addressed the crowds in a solemn, slightly hung-over, tone and then proceeded to pick grilled cheese from his beard and eat it as the plans were brought forward by his deputy.
“We live in interesting times,” announced Mahone, “ones in which us pagans must embrace the times; must reach for the stars…”
When asked where inspiration for the design had come from, Mahone explained: “Our vision was simple: a giant, planet-sized carrot.”
Meanwhile the Yagdrasil Army of Real Pagans (YARP) are outraged, claiming that the design for the two-mile long orange vegetable-shaped vessel was in fact their idea and threatening to take IRP to court over breach of copyright.
This is not the first time that YARP and IRP have come to blows. In November 2004 YARP claim that their design for the first ever Pagan deep-sea submarine called the Sea Cucumber, was also snatched and turned into a farcical attempt to navigate the River Thames disguised as a long, brown turd.
“It was a mockery,” exclaimed Martin Over, spokesperson for YARP, “It looked nothing like a sea cucumber!”
If building goes to plan, IRP expect to launch their first deep-space attempt in time for Yule.
“We hope to be drinking mead on the moon this year,” Mahone said optimistically.
athena said,
October 13, 2008 at 8:41 am
It’s a bloody usleless programme IMO! Everybody knows that all Pagans can go into space anyway, without ever leaving the comfort of their crushed velvet covered homes! What do we need Paganauts and YARPS for? Tell them to go climb up a tree!